Time as it flows....

Riddles of the past.
Answers of the present.
Questions of the future.
Time an everflowing river.
Changing course whimfully,
The rocks underneath weathered.
Tempered to a smooth shine,
Eroding the ragged edges.
Not a sign that stands,
of the struggles endured.
Each drop of a second,
Mirrored in an instant.
The glimpses that once were.
Moments that shaped destinies.
Moments that sculpted mutinies.
Moments that wielded epiphanies.
Moments that sharded litanies.
Moments that marked deceptions.
Yet we stand here upon,
Another year gone.
And Another to Embark.
As we sail on this river,
Thats an unpredictable tempest.
Sure to thrill and chill,
Eager to flow on forever.


Happy New Year!!! 2007!!!

Salaam-E-Ishq

Ishq hai kya
Koi na Jaane yahaan.
Jannat Hai Wahan.
Jahan Ishq hai sama.
Tanhai Bhi Meeti hai,
Jab Dil Ishq Pe fida hai.
Kaante Bhi Chubte,
Aasoo na bahenge hum.
Ikraar kiya hai unse,
Ishq ke naam par.
Vaada hai jeena zindagi bar.
Saath Saath yahaan.
Mannat hai hamari,
Ishq se
Dil ke Daayre par
kabhi na tum vaar karo.
Baas Thaam Jao
Hamare Zindagi Mein,
Rangat bari Duniya Lekar.
Safar Kare Har Pal,
Kushiyon Ke Dor ke aur.
Ashq hai Ishq se,
Ishq hai Har jahan.
Tumhe Mera Salaam.

The first snow...

You stood there,
With winds bellowing.
Your hair flying.
The cold engulfs you.
Your face flushed red.
You tighten your hold.
Looking up above.
A grey blanket spread.
With pecks of blue in between.
Making up its mind.
To clear or cover.
Hide and Seek by the sun.
Keeps you afoot.
Tingles of chill run all over.
Feeling tickled on the face.
You see the first speck,
Vaguely visible in sight.
A white crystal like a star.
Reflecting a cold sun's ray.
Gently settling on the floor.
A carpet of white elegance.
Lies ahead your path.
The wondrous beauty to see.
Even though a little cold it may be.
The sight of seeing your first snow.
Is a joy in itself.
Nature's hand at work,
A white marvel indeed.

Willful Woes...

Tending to let go
Fleetingly you stand still.
Walking away gracefully,
On the edge of a precipice.
Two ways to go,
Yet one way to choose.
Do you free dive?
Do you sky dive?
Either way you go,
He is there waiting for you.
Getting hurt not an option,
Getting involved not a solution.
Whats a girl got to do?
Being unattached was
her license to paradise.
Flying under the radar
Was her MO for A low profile.
Taking a sabbatical
For hunting for the one.
She became the hunted.
She never needed this,
But she never heeded it.
Wilfully she went on.
With him in pursuit.

Waqt hai kya...

Jeethe Hai Is Duniya Mein
Bina koi Pehchan Se
Bina koi Ehsaas Se.
Chalta Hai Waqt ka safar,
Jab Ruktha Hai
Tho yaad Aatha hai
Beethe Huye lamhon ki,
Jin Ka Saaya Chupte Gaye.
Zindagi ke Daman Mein.
Kabhi Chub tha hai,
Kabhi Rulatha hai.
Kabhi Hasatha hai.
Waqt ke Panne Par,
Hum Kahan Rahe,
Tum kahan rahe.
Bas Guzarish hai
Waqt Se ke
Chod na dho hume aise,
Jahan Manzil hi na rahe.
Baas Lapeto humko
Tere Anchal mein,
Kabhi na rahe hum
Dur Tumhare Angaan Se.

Jagged Reflection....

She looked at her reflection.
Like she always did.
Everything looked the same.
Only the mirror was broken.
With Jagged edges redefined.
Every piece part of a puzzle.
So fragile in place,
One stir would cause a ruckus.
Handling with care was a need.
To care there had to be someone.
The one standing beside her,
Was as dark and mysterious
As she was,
Afterall they were the same.
Her shadow accompanied her loneliness.
Somehow she found solace in that.
Everything out of focus,
Everyone out of reach.
No one to care or hear.
No one that gave a damn.
Being alive or dead was the same.
Indifference the only compassion,
That was besotted by others.
Yearning for some warmth she stood,
Someone to take a look
To see if she is there.
Acknowledgement was her content.
Isolation around her rampant,
Trying to break free of the edges.
She stepped on the very pieces,
that showed her who she was.
Only to tear up inside
With tears outside.
Drenched in her cascade of waterfall.
She lulled her self to sleep.
Melancholy the sweet tune,
Soothed her slowly.
Drifting her away to a land,
where she got what she wanted.
Again to wake up in her reality.
Where she never belonged.
Jagged edges surrounded her.
Walls scaled around.
She vowed never again,
To open up to anyone.
Only to get stomped on
By the one that actually cared.

Forgotten Memory....

The past is past.
The present is now.
The future non-existent.
Three tenses of varied times.
Each with their pros and cons.
Some like one over the other.
The past makes me tick,
As to the present i live in
With no future expectations.
Like a masterpiece aged,
With little blemishes and
a history worth talking about.
There are certain things,
I cannot forget.
It was one of those days,
When a memory long buried.
Resurfaces from six feet under.
Bringing me on edge to
What I would put as lame stupidity.
Wasting a quarter of my decade,
Trying to understand what transpired.
The memory is clear as day,
But the details hazy as the fog.
Should i laugh or cry.
It would never make a difference.
Since a closure to things like these.
Is just a whimsical fantasy.
I was silly enough to do it,
Now I regret even thinking of it.
As the others don't even know,
What went through my mind.
It just remains incomplete.
Waiting to be finished .
Only I know it will hever happen.
The awkward pleasure I got,
Surmised enough what I needed.
For that was my content.
In knowing that I will never again.
Come upon that memory.
A direction taken to leave it behind.
This memory under lock and key.
Showed that feelings felt,
Aren't necessarily truthful enough.
To hold on to.
So just let it be in the past.
Only if you can put it there...

You and her....

You see through her eyes.
What you could never understand?
You yearn in her light,
What you always needed.
You bask in her glory,
What you always cherished.
You linger in her wake,
What you always garnered.
You embellish in her glance,
What you always embraced.
You savour in her fragrance,
What you always flavored.
You regale in her grandeur,
What you always enamored.
You revel in her spirit.
What you always nurtured.
Sometimes you lose yourself
When you're around her.
Only wishing if it were really true.
That the dream you seek.
Was actually a reality in check.

Pehagam...

Dheere Se lekin chupke se
Ek parchayi chaane lagi
Zindagi ke khone pe.
Humko kabhi lubatha hai
Kabhi rulatha Hai.
Ek Gumnaam Ajnabi.
Kaun Hai Yeh Anjaana,
Agar puchey tho
Kehta hai ki khele
Hum aankh micholi
Jahan chori chori
Baatein hoti.
Chote Chote ishaare hote
Jo dikhathi hai uska mazhar.
Kareeb Akhaar dekhoon tho
Baas Nishani Reha Jathi hai.
Jisme Dikhta hai Uska Chhana
Dheemi hokar dikhata hai Ek rasta.
Jahan rehata hai zindagani ka matlab
Aur Intezaar hai us Parchayi ka.
Jo Sapne ke pardhey se hatkar,
Mere Damaan Ko Rangat Karega.

Hidden Smile.....

Keeping up the delightful pace.
Lighting up with a beautiful smile.
Making around glisten with bliss.
She was an angel in disguise.
She was a star for darkness.
Making everything bright.
Her grace lauded all around.
When you look a little closer.
You see something amiss.
You approach nearer,
A step back she takes.
Heeding a warning ahead.
What she doesn't want from you.
Was to know who she really is.
Scared away she'd run.
Scarred from the past
That held her captive.
Trying to make others glad,
Made the darkness dim.
Yet the sorrow was grim.
Making a difference was good.
But never an impact on her.
She sought solace in goodness.
Yet the solitude didn't vanish.
Can anyone's pain be so dark,
That even a little light.
Didn't stand for anything.
What she hides?
No one knows.
What she fears?
Can be felt.
What she feels?
Can't be understood.
What can she do?
Not a clue,
Only time can change.
The darkness that shrouds.
But she still remains an angel.
For those that need a smile.

Afterall...

It was supposedly once
You meet somebody.
Who tugs at something,
That you really never realized.
Hidden Glances and futile chances.
Trying to make excuses.
To make up conversations,
To be near them.
Accidently meeting them somewhere.
Sometimes mentally stunted for words.
Becoming pink to your heart's content.
Unknowingly you hide behind,
The veil of your embarassment.
Torching you to a new high.
Breathlessness of senses colliding.
Feeling of a certain rush in tandem.
All the signs pointed to the obvious.
Only to know it never lasted.
All just play for being fooled.
To the reality that existed.
So many times spent in pursuit.
Eventually waking up to the truth.
It was never a bed of roses.
Just an illusive garden of hopefulness.
That drifts into loneliness of a tepid desert.
Words aren't enough
To tell how you feel...
It isn't idealism anymore
To think what love is.
When what it is,
Is a question thats never answered.
It just remains there high above.
Like a figment of imagination.
Many versions exist.
The right one thats sought by some.
Remains absent in this abyss.
Love-Do not know what it is,
Don't intend to find it.
Just hoping to feel it,
When the time seemingly is right.
Afterall...

I can't burst crackers....

Its the fifteenth anniversary of me never getting a chance to burst crackers. I wish I was in India and extending 10 ft of crackers from the terrace of my building. That would scare the living daylights of my neighbours. Still remember those looks Fifteen years later...So heres to my Nostalgic memory of Diwali. I have sorely missed you and will continue to do so till I get a chance to burst my crackers again.


Happy Diwali and burst away crackers to your heart's content
PS: Remember me when you light them!!!

sometimes....

Awakened deep inside,
Myriad of emotions.
Naming them all
Hard thing to do.
Leaving you confused.
Leaving you thinking.
Leaving you unexpected.
How do you deal with it?
A question posed.
Do you go with the flow?
Or Do you just let it be?
Is it better to be static?
Is it better to be active?
Choices a plenty on hand.
Are you procastinating?
Are you letting time do its trick?
The solution simple,
Yet seems hard to figure out.
Some riddles can be solved.
Some questions can be answered.
But there are some,
That just remains in the balance.
When feelings come into play.
With millions of strings attached.
Undoing the right one is delicate.
If you undo the wrong one,
The effects not very satisfying.
So you hang on,
Till you figure out
Whats to be done?
The answer might just come.
Or it maybe a mystery,
Needing you to investigate
What you think you feel?
Whatever maybe the end.
Right now what you do
Matters as much as the result.
Having enigmatic feelings.
A joyful confusion or
a chaotic illusion.
Never should it be a delusion.
And the conclusion.
Rests somwhere in your mind.

a fall day..........

Leaves glistened with drops,
Every drop rippling with a glow.
Permeating a warmth,
Sent by the rays.
The winds chiming
A soft melody....
Almost humming along,
are the swaying branches.
The clouds playing hide and seek.
With the sun's aura.
Greys and blues making
An interesting collage.
So goes the story
From a day in the fall.
Seen through my eyes.

Retrospect

Living life to the fullest,
Was supposedly in action.
Make something of it
Everyday is a miracle
Theres only one chance.
These were the lines.
Governing my life
or so they say.
Here I stand on a threshold,
Gazing back at the past,
Lingering in the present,
Pondering about the future.
Mistakes made can never be changed.
Feelings hurt can never be healed
Friends lost can never be returned.
Which side do I turn?
The one that dictates the terms to me.
Or the one where I decide the terms.
Whichever way I go,
I would never be the same again.
What happened to the innocence?
That harbored me,
To the revolving pace of the world.
What happened to the elusiveness?
that weathered me,
to the tempering changes of time.
What happened to the ignorance?
that sheltered me.
To the winding reality of existence.
Like a paper boat on a rainy day,
I float in a puddle drenched.
Almost sinking trying to hold on.
With the hope of being saved.
Sometimes from this world,
sometimes from myself.
If living life to the fullest was easy,
Why do I find it hard?
If each day is a miracle,
What is the magic I should see?.
If all these questions were answered,
Theres nothing to retrospect about.
Mysteriously I live,
Deliriously I search,
Lividly I watch
All the things
that make me "Me"!!

Simply put...

Never in a million years
Ever imagined being here.
A stranger in a known world.
The only catch is familiarity.
People think they know you.
Believe what you say.
See what you do.
Judging you for what you are.
Everything scrutinized,
Always leading to the same thing.
Simply put an ordinary person
With flawed perception and action.
Thats what you want them to see.
Drawn conclusions and notions.
Based on actions you do,
Brash,Talkative, Boastful,Arrogant.
Sarcastic,Sycophant,Smartass.
The whole thing a ruse,
A game of unwanted flashiness.
To cloud what they know.
The cover over reality,
Once lifted reveals
Someone unsettled, unwanted.
Unwarranted, misunderstood.
Putting walls of guise,
Filtering someone who
Resembles the stereotype in ways.
Alienated from everyone they stand,
Yearning for just one to find.
Who they are supposed to be?
Till then the charade goes on.
Lasting till the end.
Simply put no one knows.
Who someone really is.

Shadows Seen

Seething inside
Was a simmering pain.
Pouring outside.
was an innocent smile.
Stemming both sides
Was a unknown shadow.
Shrouded in Mystery.
Not revealing itself.
Waiting for me
To unmask it.
Fear gripped me.
Tears held me.
Postponing the inevitable.
I looked on
And saw the woeful imagery.
Rolled into one
A story to tell.
Of someone who never knew.
what was right and wrong.
Hiding underneath a joyful mask
Was a person numb inside.
Never mattered what it was.
Nothing to stop the end.
Helplessly I gaze,
At the cold reality of the world.
We all go away forever.
But never knew
Hurt this bad.
Would make me numb everywhere.
I bid adieu to what was now.
To hang onto what was then.
Memories remain forever,
But people fade into oblivion.
Eternity is a joke now.
When I know,
Everything is dispensable.
The shadow that stalks me,
Clear as day.
Engulfs me now.
I slowly succumb to the need,
To let go of what is gone.
I won't call it mourning.
I call it remembrance,
of who it was and what remains.
That keeps them alive,
Amidst my wayward life.