Chances at Bay...

A look at the mirror
A reflection besotted,
It looks fine but 
there was something missing.
It had aged but never grew up.
What was life to her,
was a question she didn't care for.
She saw others walk by,
But she stood in the same place
She was transfixed in that spot,
Jaded with negativity and badness.
Torturing the people who gave a damn
To fulfill her twisted revenge,
Inflicted by one since childhood.
Priorities not straightened,
Clueless she moved,
Letting her life go by without control.
Whiling her time away in nothingness,
Being a burden to people who are old.
Suffering for her mistakes,
while she stood unharmed and shielded.
realization dawns but no action taken.
She begs for a chance but never uses it,
When fate strickens her with misfortune,
she unleashes against the powers 
Saying that they screwed her over.
Like the white swan in the lake,
She yearned to be loved,
But was scorned forever.
Who was to blame,
Nobody but her.
She just keeps living,
Without a way in sight.
Will she be given a chance,
With fortune smiling on her
For the one swan song 
Where she corrects her wrongs,
and fade away into oblivion.
She awaits that turn hoping,
Death will be the comfort she sought,
After making up for her faults and stupidity.
All she wants is one chance at destiny,
Once chance to not be a burden.
Once chance to impress the powers.
Once chance to forgiver herself and 
The people that she cared about.
Oh please will she get the chance 
She craves for it,
like the ambrosia of gods.
A plea she keeps praying for,
Will her penance start,
Just questions remain,
The answer yet to be received.

de(ar)ranged marriage....

They showed me everything
They could possibly find.
I approved everything
I could possibly like.
What was I thinking?
What I liked didn't want me.
As a face is all it takes 
To know somebody.
Why didn't I listen,
when I should looked for love.
Love is humbug.
So is getting hitched.
No guy fancies my face.
No guy gives a damn about me.
Does it burgeon a complex in me?
Sure it does but I don't really care.
The educated, settled ones 
want a fair maiden,
whereas am a twilight maiden.
The ones that want me,
are the freaky weirdos 
that can scare many away.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't know,
Beginning I felt sad,
Then I felt angry.
Now I feel funny,
This whole marriage thing,
Is a long winding road,
Without an end in sight.
What do these men want?
I fucking don't know
Its bloody annoying to say the least.
I bid adieu.
I keep my mouth shut
because this whole thing is one big mess.

the last day....

Its not a secret anymore
It is a reality.
Everyone is born with a purpose,
yet there is one who has none.
Some do good and some do bad.
And there is one who does netiher.
Confusion confounded with
A twisted sense of revenge,
Shattering the lives that actually
Give a damn about this one.
Always seeing a sign in things,
Accepting it as an signal of things to come.
Mostly negative in nature.
Quarter of a decade gone by,
Till today doesn't get the meaning of life.
Does not know what is wanted or needed,
Just knows one thing,
One can't go on like this forever.
So the one awaits for the last day,
when this whole worthless existence
Comes to halt giving much needed space
To a more worthy soul for this planet.

The universe conspires....

Hard to imagine,
What I think.
Every time I decide to quit.
I fall back into familiarity.
Every time I choose to hate them.
I turn back on my resolution.
As luck waves its wand,
The magic flows through.
The eyes fixate on someone.
You stare at that someone,
For a few seconds and 
Feel tempted to take another glance.
I try to stop but,
The heart gets what
The mind doesn't want.
Is it an age specific weakness,
Or is it my penchant for unrequited charm,
Or is it my damn luck!
Matters worsen when a dear one
Adds fuel to the fire,
You say you are on earth,
But you can't help floating into a cloud.
You call it comedy,
But you really know its a dramedy.
Messenger keeps giving the subtext,
But I can't get the whole picture.
Quarter of a century gone by,
All my likings end up committed
To somebody thats not me.
How is this time any different?
Discouragement exists for the messenger,
But the blame lies with me,
I get carried away easily.
Matters of the heart,
Ain't my cup of tea.
But when I do get one,
It overrides my sanity.
Afterall its just a liking,
Whats the big deal?
The subtext I get.
favours me for the first time.
But do I take it with a salty pinch?
I try talking like a normal person,
But can't help myself walking on eggshells.
I joke and kid around in the conversations,
To get a lay of the land.
I yearn to learn more,
I digress half way.
Sporadic conversations,
Random vanishings without a bye,
I lose my fuse,
Even though its just a crush.
Oh! what have I gotten myself into.
All I know is the universe conspires,
To make me perspire,
For me to aspire,
An unrequited desire.